Greetings, Chieficionados!

This bulletin, "The Chief (tm) News, Volume 1, Edition 1" is being sent to you free of charge because of your demonstrated uber-high level of interest in all things The Chief (tm). (For an autographed copy suitable for framing, please send $19.98 plus S&H to the address below). Regular, if not near-constant updates and bursts of self-adulation will be provided at the whim of The Chief (tm), but put down those keyboards and step away from those phones because there's no way to cancel.

Formalities aside, the first news item is, simply, The Chief (tm)!

(What more needs be said -- Ed.)

Second item is, we have bad news and good news. The bad news is that The Chief (tm) will be unable, repeat, unable to attend his own birfday bash down in the Greater La Jolla  / Bird Point Metroplex this weekend. (Several selfless sources, who gave their lives to first acquire, then relay the information, assure The Chief (tm) News that it will be a real humdinger, right up there with, say, the Fyre Festival and Stalin's Second Five-Year Plan.)

The good news is that the purity of the weekend's festivities, seeing as how it is titled "The Chief's Birthday in Absentia", will not be blemished by the actual presence of The Chief (tm). Furthermore, we hear that the very-recently former FBI director James "Big Jim" Comey -- who will no doubt be scoping for chicks -- is on the short list of "maybes", and former Secretary of the Treasury Robert Reich will likely make an appearance also, probably right around the first open-bar cocktail hour, hosted by Big Baller Brand (tm) (R) (PP) (C) athletic shoes. Al Trent will, as usual, be omnipresent, but don't expect to actually see  him unless he feels it is absolutely necessary...in which case, it may be best to have your undertaker on call 24x7.

The other shred of semi-good news is that it seems for all the world that The Chief (tm) will soon find himself in a three-week, truck driving / CDL Class "A" training session based out of Fontana, CA beginning on "Tubesday", May 30, with the very real possibility of vectoring over to 815 or down to 944 (or, ideally, "bolf") to, er, "occupy" time during the intervening weekends. This, admittedly, would in no way be a fully suitable substitute for "Chief's Birthday in Absentia", but hey, we take what we can get. Details to follow.

Wow, is it 8 AM already? Time for The Chief (tm) to disfrutar that first cold BL tin of the day. For the rest of you, on with whatever it is that you call your "lives". All for now, Chieficionados, all for now!